Bar "kind of" Review Post :)

Hey sweetpies!!!


Thank you sooooooo much for all the comments on my last post!!
I know I always say this, but I’m so grateful!! Can’t even describe it!!

I had a really difficult week.
With feelings all over the place!!
My T told me to start a FoodDiary where I have to write down
– my feelings – my bodyfeeling – my thoughts
everytime BEFORE and AFTER a meal!!

Wow…. Would never have thought that this would be sooo hard!!
I’m used to put my feelings aside or just not feel at all!
So as I said, it was really difficult and rather disturbing!

But I did it! And I will continue to do it, because it is so important for me
to (re)connect with my feelings!!
Not just pretend (and hope) that everything is fine!
It obvious isn’t!

So bare with me, if in the near future my post are a little whacky!

But I have to say that even though I felt like sh*t sometimes,
I haven’t felt this much like ME in a long time!!
No more hiding my feeling
(so much people came to me and asked if everything is ok)
and not being afraid to say “NO I’m not fine”!

Uff…. What a week.
I have a new appointment with my T in about two hours.
Curious what she will say, what this session will reveal!

Alright… On to a happy topic!!
As I posted a few weeks back, I recieved an AWESOME package
from the lovely E and M!
Lots and lots of Bars I (obviously) never had or tried
so I was eager to dive into them!! πŸ˜€

First up was the JamFrakas Chocolate Chip Cosmocrisp

Holy YUM!!! WOW!!! I was sooooooooo pleasently surprised with this!!
It is so chocolaty and dense and…… I’m speechless!!
I wish I could eat this everyday for breakfast AND lunch AND dinner!! πŸ˜€


Next a LUNA White Chocolate Macadamia

I did not expect lots of it since I don’t really like White Chocolate BUT I liked it!!!
Definitely not my favorite but I love Macadamias and it totally had lots of Macadamias in it!!

My FIRST LARABAR Pistachio

Another WOW!!! I didn’t recall liking pistachios THAT MUCH!!!
I was mmhh-ing the whole time eating this!!
(I even saved half of the bar for a little later, to savour every bit!)
I WILL DEFINITELY TRY AND MAKE THEM MYSELF!!
I even bought unsalted peanuts right the next day!! πŸ˜€


CLIF nectar cacao dark chocolate walnut

Do I really need to say that I love chocolate?! And walnuts!?
So…. Needless to tell you that I enjoyed this one too!!
Every bite…
(I really tend to take very itty little bites when I like something really much!)
…wish it would not have ended…!


Last (until now) but most definitely NOT least
CLIF Spiced Pumpkin Pie

This one was another one I did not know what to expect.
After trying Pumpkin-Oats and not really liking it too much I hesitated a little.
With NO REASON at all!!
It was a little too big for me to eat in one sitting (befor a workout) so I split it!
And I’m glad I did… Because even though I TRULY like it! The flavours were a little much for me!
So I think by splitting it I had the chance to really enjoy it without getting sick of it!!

Once again THANK YOU TWO SO MUCH for all the bars!!
I have plenty Bars left to try (and can’t wait!)
but I try to only have one a day and only as a pre-workout!
This way they may last a little longer…! ;D

I hope you all had a great week (already read all about it on your incredible blogs)
and a wonderful weekend (will read about this in a bit)
and wish you a fabulous new week!!

Make every day a good one
and
do everything the best you can!!


EDIT:
Go over to Iowa Girl Eats and take a look at THIS awesome Giveaway!!

Much LOVE


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Holiday Recap Part Two

Here we go… Sorry for the delay!!
I just have a lot of work and since I do all the blogging from work… You get it!

I decided to post all the food pics first and then the house and all the fall impressions!
Hope you enjoy it…. πŸ˜‰ I clearly did!!
I told my mother recently that I food-blog!
And she was way cute and even reminded me a few time to take pictures!!
She’s just awesome!!

The pics are chronological from Saturday to Saturday! πŸ˜‰


saturday after arriving I heated some leftovers I brough with me
[cheese, wine, bread and butter for my mom! ;)]

brussel sprouts and some pumpkin/squash dish along with an easy over egg

my breakfasts were always (almost) the same
banana-goji-oatmeal with apples (or pear or quince) some almond slivers (or pine nuts) and cranberries

delicious until the very last bite!!


my mom had some of my oatmeal everyday
alongside with one or two slices bread with jam or cheese
(and coffee for her!)

on sunday we went to a beautiful market
and look what I found!!!
the eggplant and sp are almost the size of my head!! and the mini carrot like my smalest finger!! πŸ˜€

from here on I don’t clearly remember when we had what but of course I remember what we had!! πŸ˜‰
a deliciouse Whiting fish filet fresh from the market on sunday
with a carrot-leek-cream side and quinoa

here we have my moms favorite lentil dish
lentils cooked with carrots and some other vegetable I don’t know how it is called in english
along with lots of quinoa and a sidesalad (greens with tomatoes and an easy balsamic sauce)

this is only HALF of the tatter!!! about 12oz!

I had them as fries with eggplant chips but have to say I didn’t like them at all!!
but I think it was more the eggplant itself as it was quite bitterly

another pic of my daily breakfast
this time in the beautiful morning sunlight

chicken breast with a side of quinoa (the last time I think!)
garlic-zucchini (awesome by the way!!) and boiled tomato

since I didn’t mind for the eggplant chips last time
I just cooked the other half with some zucchinis
to have with my deliciouse sp fries! and tons of ketchup of course!
[had to buy it first so hadn’t had any the first time!! :(( ]

last but definitely not least
a super delicious small pork chop
with steamed carrots and leek and
my favorite way to eat potatoes
pan roasted – holy YUM!!

That’s what we eat during the last week!
There wasn’t a lot of snacking in between but sadly I had a little set back with the mini-binges
in the evening…. Only the last few days but I was really annoyed by myself!!
I was doing soooo good!!

So it took my by surprise to see that when I stepped on the scale on this Tuesday
I actually lost a little!! WOW! Came unexpected but I was clearly pleased!

Don’t wanna get into that…. But I have to say I’m doing quite good at the moment!

Thank you for the nice comments
and for all the nice words on Facebook too!!

I’m really THANKFUL for all you guys!!
(Had to say something even though we don’t have Thanksgiving here and I’m a little late!!)

As always…. Have a wonderful day and just make the best out of all the minutes and situations!!

Big Hug

What an Welcome-Home Gift!!

Well hello everyone!!!

I’m back, as you can see!! πŸ˜‰

Don’t have much time to post unfortunately but I’m really excited that we have so much work here! We’re getting out of our funk as it seems!! And soon we well be flooded with work and that’s a good thing, after having almost nothing to do the past few month!! So yay for working long days!! I just love this office and enjoy every minute spend here!! ;D

But unfortunately this means fewer time to read all your lovely blogs (and I accumulated a lot of blogs over the past few month!!) and not as much to post about! But I’ll manage!!

First things first…. As you can guess from the title I was greated with an awesome package yesterday as I returned and took a look into my mailbox!!

lots and lots of deliciouse bars – can’t wait to try each and every one!!
chia seeds!!! YAYYY!!! and a Justin’s Squezze pack
and of course the cutest card imaginable – a few tears were rolling down my cheek
but of course with the biggest smile on my face!

The most lovely, big-hearted and beautiful twins I know had send me some awesome stuff!!!
I really could not think about a better Welcome-Home gift!!!

Thank you soooooooooo much Eliza and Maya!!
I even tried the Luna WCM right away and have to say, even though I’m not a fan of white chocolate, I enjoyed every bite of the half I tried!! Can’t wait to have the other half!!
I really have no words on how grateful I am to be recieving such lovely things!!
And I really hope that you will finally get my package soon!!! It’s already three weeks!! That’s just unacceptable!!

I have a JamFrakas Chocolate Chip Cosmocrips laying in front of me and I’ll eat it as my pre-workout snack!

About my holidays – they where perfect!! Eating could have been better but who cares right?!
I’ll do a few posts over the course of this week about last week – hope you’ll enjoy them!!

Have a wonderful day everyone!
And again – THANK YOU so much my loves!!


Big hug –

Weekly Update and Holidays

Hey my lovely pumpkins!!

Sooooo sorry for being MIA lately!! I’m a really bad blogger lately!
But as I mentioned in my last post, I really do eat almost the same everyday and
nothing interesting is happening around here, so…. Little reason to post…
And since I’m a little lost for words lately – doesn’t help much!

I just wanted to let you all know that I’m (semi) OK and even though I’m eating too little
(and the damn scale is not bulging!! How can this be?!!!)
I eat enough for the moment! Even my T said so!
So everything is fine!

Ballet and Jazz is going great!! I feel like I am making so much progress!
Giving up a little controll to maintain the “lightness” of ballet and to let my moves be smoother in Jazz!
I just loooooooooove my teacher so much!! Can’t even put this into words!
I’m so happy to have found her! I’m certain that I would not be dancing if it weren’t for her!

Hope all of you had a good week?!
β™₯ β™₯ I know E and M are doing much better!! And I’m so proud of them!
β™₯ Karina is putting a smile on my face with each post
β™₯ and Rebecca (found her blog recently) is inspiring me so much to question and reevaluate!
Thank you soo much for all your posts!! For sharing your story!! It really makes me stronger
and feeling less alone in all of this!!


I don’t know if I mentioned this in an earlier post
but I’m away the next week!
We are going to spend a week in our house in France! YAY!!
We have to pick our Quinces before they go mad!
I love to spend time there! It is so quiet and calm!
And I have a huge room for myself to practice ballet and jazz!! YAY!!
I’m going with my mom and a friend of hers! It will be fun!

So no updates [as if that is new πŸ˜‰ ] until next monday!
Have a wonderful week and I look forward in reading all your lovely posts when I return!
I have to say that is the only thing I’m not so happy about…
Not being able to read all your posts for so long!! But I’ll manage!! πŸ˜›

Here are a few recent eats, so that this isn’t a text-only post and to give you a little color!! πŸ˜€

Jenn inspired me (with her latest post) to this lovely dinner on Tuesday!!

pre-workout snack (wednesday if I remember correctly)



pm-snack/pre-workout – half at work

the other half on my walk to practice
And a little more fall colors πŸ˜‰

even though it was wet

it looked really beautiful – no sound when walking trough the leaves though 😦

EDIT: After posting this, I read the ever amazing Karina‘s new post and discovered that I was taged to contribute to Maggie’s Truth Week, which I find is an awesome thing!!

So about my bit of Truth (where should I start?!):

I grew up learning to put everyone else before me!
My dad committed suicide when I was merely at the age of 7,
thus I always thought that I needed to help my mom and not burden her with anything else
and this started a cycle I have jet to come out of!
I don’t blame her entirely for this even though she might have given me the urge to do this undeliberately.
[I have no idea if this mad sense at all, sorry for that!]
I am learning to put myself first but it’s not an easy task.

I’m tagging E and M today [I don’t remember if they posted one already and sorry if so. But as far as I know every day there is a new reason to post one ;)]
And to end this the right way, please take a look at the OCCK-post! Thank you for reading! πŸ˜‰


All my love to all of you!!! :*

All kind of eats and a Birthday…

Long time no read…. I apologize!!

It was an eventless week – hence the lack of posting!!
But I’m going to start with Sunday – My Birthday YAY!

It was good… Good enough! For me anyways as I don’t like to much going on around me!!
I had a leisure morning with an amazing breakfast:

can you guess how old I’m now?! πŸ˜‰ [I hope KERF isn’t too jealous ;)]

Had a date with my mom πŸ˜€ She invited me to see a ballet choreographed from our talented SpΓΆrrli – Raymonda
After we went home (to my mom’s) and she cooked for me!
Of course I had to make my own “cake”! And I have to say they were awesome!!
I have to link to the recipes!! Sooooo good and healthy and low calorie!!! Awesome!!

the big ones are banana-coconut and the little ones chocolate-orange

I did only half of each recipe and changed the cake into mini-cupcakes and the bars into muffins.
they were divine!!

On thursday I enjoyed an amazing fall-walk home with all its beauty!




I just loooooove the fall colors!!! β™₯ β™₯ β™₯

On to the eats. I had lots of same-old same-old! But it’s soo good I’m not getting tired of it!!
Though I’m going to leave the peppers and zucchini behind me, since it’s a summer vegetable!
And add a few winter vegetables to my lunches…

Various breakfasts – each day almost the same:




Oh what I forgott to mention, last sunday we sent to a fall market (I think I wrote about it in my last post)
and I found Maca powder!!! Couln’t believe my eyes!! And purchased Maca Capsules which I’m taking now each day with my breakfast! Don’t feel a difference but if I do, I’ll tell you instantly! πŸ˜‰

Lunch at work is always veggies with (or without) avocado, cottage cheese and seeds.


Snacks before Yoga or Ballet/Jazz:




And dinner usually contained some Soup:

love love love love homemade pumpkin soup!! made a new batch on saturday and can’t wait until tonight to have some!!

Saturday:

breakfast was heavenly

lunch was the same as above but in a tupper and eaten at my moms.
had this as dinner after spending hours in the kitchen baking and cooking!!! πŸ˜€ love days like this!

I had another Therapy session today! Went well…. Lots to talk about, lots to learn and relearn!
I’m still very glad I choose this T and I’m looking forward to the hours spend with her! Even though I know there will be tears and lots of struggling! But I know that is was I need and it will be worth it!!

Now…. I want to thank here all the beautiful ladies who congratulated me on facebook!!! Thank you so much!! You really mean the world to me!! And even if I repeat myself a lot, but I know I wouldn’t be where I am now withough all of you!! All your blogs and comments inspire and strengthen me so much!!!
I’m endlessly thankful for all of this!!

Have a wonderful day!! And make every minute worth it!!


PS: If there is anything you would like to know about me, just ask away! I’m happy to answer!

Dancing Around and Feeling High….

Goooooood Morning everyone!!!

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend!?!?!
Mine was filled with sweet nothingness!! πŸ˜‰ I chilled at my moms, had a calm evening and on Sunday we went to a beautifull Fall-Marked and walked around for about four hours (of course there was a lot of standing in between!)! It was a little overwhelming with all the people but it had so much things to look at!
Nonetheless I was happy to be home again and enjoy the evening cooking and watching tv shows!

Here you have all the goodies!! Starting with my re-introduced Soup-Friday – which means only liquids preferable soups on every Friday. YAY!!
Oh and I finally found the ankle boots I was looking for the last few month!! Can’t believe I found them!! And found another pair of boots that are very similar to the ones I already have but are on their last legs!!
Successfull Friday I might call this!

breakfast: maple & brown sugar Quaker Oatmeal with Milk and lots of cinnamon

lunch: veggies and potato/leek instant soup

afternoon snack: hot chocolate in my favorite office mug!

dinner: instant dhal soup (normally my Soup-Friday doesn’t consist in so much instant soup! sorry!!


Saturday started really early; Woke up at 7am – started doing laundry, had a delicious breakfast (as always on weekends – I totally look forward to this breakfast all week!!) – while waiting on the dryer I went shopping for two packages I sent out afterwards πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜€ – as I told you ladies earlier It may take up to 14 days to arrive, sorry about that!!
Returned home to emty the dryer and fold my laundry, only to head out the door to go get my Snowboard with the new Binding! I’m so psyched and can’t wait to go snowboarding soon!! Mountains I’m coming!!
Went to my moms and chilled there withouth our regular Saturday-Walk because my mom didn’t feel to well. No problem with me because I planned to practice with my point shoes in the evening so I was glad to give my foots a little rest! I aimed high in the evning – not really! πŸ˜‰ I practiced for about 15 minutes and my feet where dead!!
I’m so excited about dancing on pointe but also a little worried I might not be strong enough now!!
We will see…. I relaxed the rest of the evening and went to bed really early!

breakfast: overnight oats (1/3 oats, 2/3 water soaked over night) with a cooked in banana and lots of cinnamon,
our own apple compote, cran- and goji berries and pine nuts

lunch at moms: salt potatoes and sauerkraut (times two)
with small slices of pork belly and other pork

dinner at home again: some creamed spinache and an onion tartlett
had a few (unpictured) handfulls mixed nuts and
for dessert more of the apple compote with cinnamon and almond butter

Sunday was a late start – slept in until 9am which is really rare for me. Had breakfast and went to my moms so we could get going for the Fall Market in another City. Like I said it was beautiful – had lots of different things and of course lots of Food Stands! I wasn’t hungry at all and was a little annoyed with all of them – but the other ones got hungry around 3pm and we went and sat down in a cute little market ‘restaurant’! I had a few spoonfull of my moms soup but that was all for me! I was glad to be home again and get going in the kitchen for my pumpkin soup! I was looking forward to this soup all week because the butternut is staring at me since last weekend!! ;D
Not to toot my own horn but this soup was excellent!!! I included some pumpkin I bought last weekend at a Farm stand and the flavor of it was really nutty and just perfect combined with the butternut, onions, garlic and curry! Holy YUM!! I’m sooooo eager to eat this soup for dinner every day this week!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

a repeat of the breakfast from Saturday (this might easily be repeatet next weekend as well!)

my awesome soup – times two
and in the back the roasted pumpkin/squash I prepared for my lunches for this upcoming week!

for dessert I had a cup apple compote with lots of cinnamon and a tbsp almond butter again (like Saturday night!)

And this is about it! Like I said I hope you had a great weekend and oh I almost forgott:
How was your Halloween?! Tell me all about it!!!
Can’t wait to read all your stories!!

Last but definitely not least I wanted to clear something up:
After reading kasondras comment on my last post, I need to add here that I am nowhere near malnourished!
Don’t get me wrong, I know I have an ED but I’m not underweight!! In fact I’m at a BMI of 24 right now!! A lot of my weight is muscul but nonetheless I’m clearly a little “too much” at the moment!!
I appreciate every word she wrote and will deffinitely take a lot of it into consideration!

Thanks for all of your thought and comments on my posts!!
I would not be this stong withough all of you!

Have a wonderful week and take one day at a time!

Hug

(Not so) Quick Update ;)

I just want to let all of you beautifuls know that my appointment went very well!!

I’m so glad I did this!! Couldn’t have done it withough all of you and my best friend!!

Thank you so much for supporting me in this and even pushing me to do so!! And of course thanks for sharing your stories!! This made it so much easier, to know I have a bunch of people believing in me – that I’m doing the right thing!!


I totally lucked out with this T! She is truly amazing – we clicked instantly! It was so relieving to talk to someone without being lookt at like a lunatic or like they think “just stop! just like yourself”!! To talk to her and see in her eyes that she knows and understands what I was telling her!! We made a new appointment and I’ll start single therapy with her and she strongly suggested a Nutritionis for me, but we will discuss this next time! Until then I have a little questionnaire to fill out and start with a food diary!

I’m not too happy with the diary part, because right know I definitely don’t eat enough (sorry for mentioning this and sorry if this is triggering!!) and I’m not sure if I just give it to her like it is, or if I’ll tweak it a little! But I don’t want to start our “thing” with lies!! The first time I don’t have to lie about food, how it makes me feel, my weight and how gaining all this weight back is super upsetting for me!! So we’ll see! I still have time to think about it – no appointment until (a day after my birthday!!) the 9th.


Alright! Enough doctor-talk! πŸ˜‰ Onto the good stuff!!


Even though I didn’t eat to much the last few days, I definitely had some deliciouse things!!

Tuesday was veeeeeeeeeery bad!!! Had quite the binge!! And I finally swore that this was THE LAST EVER!!!

I just can’t do this anymore!!!

But to start at the beginning – day went well, as always. Did not go to Yoga because my mom had other obligations and I planned to go and donate blood for a few weeks and since Tuesday is the only day I can go I thought I took the plunge. Walked there in the beautiful fall weather!!

Everything went fine even though my blood pressure was a little low (99/64) as always!

breakfast: half a cup muesli, an apple, a kiwi and lots of cinnamon and flax
lunch: lots of veggies (orange bell pepper, zucchini, cauliflower, cherry tomatoes)
with 1/3 cup cottage cheese and paprika
dessert a little later: granola bar with orange dark chocolate
pre-donation: a sliced apple, babybel and curry cashews
the beautiful cemetery I walked through!
a little halloween feeling πŸ˜‰
it was such a nice fall afternoon – the pic doesn’t do it justice!
dinner (I was given after donating): ww kind-of-bagle with a little cream cheese and pate, orange juice on the side
didn’t eat the toblerone – took it with me though!
proof πŸ˜‰
thank god everything goes smoothly every time!! I like the thought of helping someone with my blood!! πŸ˜€
and like I said! everything went downhill – once again but this time was THE LAST TIME!!!
this is about 1/5 of what I ate (not everything sweet and nut just this times five!!)


Wednesday was alright!! Day was kind of slow and I was glad once the clock turned 4.30pm so I could go to the post office to finally receive my English Certificate!! YAY! And then head to my ballet and jazz practice!! Went really well! My teacher checked my point shoes and told me that I could practice in them for a while, but they are a little to soft for me (they are second-hand) and I’ll have to buy my own soon – which is totally ok for me!! Can’t wait until Monday to start practice at class with them!!

breakfast; 1/3 cup muesli, half an apple, half a kiwi and 1/3 of a small banana
with lots of cinnamon and flax – some magnesium/calcium tablets
small portion of my quinoa and veggies
about 1/3 cup quinoa tops, orange pepper, zucchini, cauliflower and cherry tomatoes
1/3 cup cottage cheese, paprika and topped with a little seed mix
pre-workout/dinner: half of this peanut&oat TREK bar – totally delicious!!!!
and a babybel – had one cup skim milk after dance (unpictured)


Thursday was interesting to say the least! More on the go than in the office. πŸ™‚

My T-app. at 8am – back in the office at 9.30am, worked straight though until 3pm when I had to leave to drive 1,5h to pick up my nieces (they had some kind of pre-evaluation for their jobs), drive back and drop them at the barne they work! Not to much traffic thank god but still very busy and tiring! Finally home at 9pm!

breakfast (part1) at 8am before my appointment
awesome stats!! It was interesting!
Since I’m still not used to the ginger taste in something sweet, the first bite was kind of not so good,
but the longer I chewed and ate – the better it got! πŸ˜€
breakfast (part2) at 11am was the same as on wednesday
here pre mixing
here post-mixing so you can see what I had in there! πŸ˜‰
late lunch at 2.30pm was a delicious quick soup (veggy and potato/leek)
on top of my work πŸ˜‰
I drove into the sunset!! beautiful colors!!
on the road I hade some (unpictured) crackers and the other half of the TRAK peanut&oat bar

So yeah!! This is it!! My Not-So-Quick update!! Hadn’t planned to write so much (like usual) so I just changed my title a little!! πŸ˜‰


Hope all of you had a (better) good time and why don’t you tell me about your favorite day so far this week?! When and why?! πŸ˜‰


Have a wonderful day everyone!!


Hug

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