Back — Finally

Whewww… That was an unexpected long break!!!
I’m so sorry for that!!
It wasn’t planed but – to be quite honest – it was relieving and I totally needed it!!

Nonetheless I’m so glad to be back!!
Hope you are too?! 😉

Well how are you?! How have you been?!

Where do I start?!
Actually I’d like to mention Rebecca here first! Because she is the reason I do this post!
Or at least she was the last push I needed to finally find the courage to write again!
I need to say here that I am really intimidated by all your fabulous writing!!
I wish I would be able to articulate myself like you do!
But I know that it isn’t important how many words I use or if they are fancy or not! The important thing is that I really enjoy interacting with you all and I really care for all of you. At the same time this is the reason why it takes so long for me to do a post! I overthink and overanalyse everything, every word, every sentence!!
I just NEED to STOP this!! And I think I’m on the right way!

Alright… Where have I been?! What was I doing?! You might ask yourself.
The answer is: Nothing!
Ok that’s not quite the truth, of course I’ve been doing lots and have been here and there! But it really doesn’t feel like i did! It’s like I didn’t LIVE in the first few month of this year and just existed!
And I’m just about to finally wake up and get going again! I’m eager to move on!! And ready for it!

It was an exhausting time even though I didn’t do much (aside from my dancing and eating way to much!!) and mentally draining! I was in a bad place!! Constantly doubting myself and ‘feeling fat’! I know… FAT isn’t a feeling but I was so consumed by my body (how it felt, looked and how my clothes fit)!!
I of course restricted (or better tried to) and therefore binged not long after!!
What a vicious cycle I know way too well.

But I got out!! I pulled through!!
I’m steadily loosing again (and for those of you who don’t know, I’m NOT and nowhere near underweight so that’s a good thing!!) and am happy with my life at the moment!!

I’m happy with my dancing, (I finally got rid of the pain in my calf!! It seems to be healed aside from some soreness now and then) I’m making progress!
Finally being able to do pointe again!!! Looking forward to the play we are having in June – of course I’m nervous and afraid of failure but right now the excitement and eagerness to become better overtake the negative feelings!!
Jazz is making a lot more sense to me and I start to really enjoy movements I really loathed for a long time!!

What else?! Oh right… On the ‘food-front’ I did a lot of experimenting!
Of course AFTER I pulled myself out of the rut I was in the first few month of 2010!
Lot’s of veggie-lunches, salads and almond butter-yogurts there!
I finally dried a Green Monster!! WOW!! Why did I wait so long?! (Maybe because we don’t have as much fresh spinach here in Switzerland in winter?! And now there is lots of spinache everywhere!! Even organic one!! YAY!!)
I had one every day the first week I tried it!!! And now it’s my to-go recovery meal for dance nights (Monday, Wednesday and Thursday I have ballet and/or jazz) and I AM IN LOVE!!! So much variation!

Furthermore I am acually experimenting with new meals!!
It really helped that the temperatures dropped again (even though I really enjoyed the nice weather and low 70s) and it’s rainy and cold here! That way I fancy warm meals! And I discover my passion for comming up with new creations! So glad!! What a joy to just try!!

Oh and I finally (lots of finally’s in this post!! Sorry!) made homemade Larabars – NicBars! ;D
Soooo good!!
The first time I did them I overwhelmed myself because I couldn’t settle for just two or three flavors
– I had to do FIFE (cashew cookie, pistachio, coconut, lime, tropical)!!!
Now I’m down to my TREE favorites (tropical, coconut and coconut&cacao),
which I’m doing over and over again! Such a great pre-workout snack!!

And here we are!!!
Lots of words (and no pics, sorry!!) later, I’m still living! JK 😉
I am so glad I took the step and did this post!! I actually planned on doing just a draft and then come back later to add stuff but I just couldn’t stop writing!! And even though I don’t have any pictures here (my camera is at home and I didn’t to lots of photografing the last few month!) I am going to push that PUBLISH button right know!!

I’ll be back!! With pictures of the NicBars and GreenMonsters!! Promise!!
I hope I still have some readers!!

And my apologizes again for being AWOL for so long!! But I just needed the break apparently!

Thanks for reading!! And thanks for all the comments I got through Facebook and such!!
You all are just amazing!!

Have a wonderful day/night whathever it is where you are!!

Lots and lots of love!!


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Bar "kind of" Review Post :)

Hey sweetpies!!!


Thank you sooooooo much for all the comments on my last post!!
I know I always say this, but I’m so grateful!! Can’t even describe it!!

I had a really difficult week.
With feelings all over the place!!
My T told me to start a FoodDiary where I have to write down
– my feelings – my bodyfeeling – my thoughts
everytime BEFORE and AFTER a meal!!

Wow…. Would never have thought that this would be sooo hard!!
I’m used to put my feelings aside or just not feel at all!
So as I said, it was really difficult and rather disturbing!

But I did it! And I will continue to do it, because it is so important for me
to (re)connect with my feelings!!
Not just pretend (and hope) that everything is fine!
It obvious isn’t!

So bare with me, if in the near future my post are a little whacky!

But I have to say that even though I felt like sh*t sometimes,
I haven’t felt this much like ME in a long time!!
No more hiding my feeling
(so much people came to me and asked if everything is ok)
and not being afraid to say “NO I’m not fine”!

Uff…. What a week.
I have a new appointment with my T in about two hours.
Curious what she will say, what this session will reveal!

Alright… On to a happy topic!!
As I posted a few weeks back, I recieved an AWESOME package
from the lovely E and M!
Lots and lots of Bars I (obviously) never had or tried
so I was eager to dive into them!! 😀

First up was the JamFrakas Chocolate Chip Cosmocrisp

Holy YUM!!! WOW!!! I was sooooooooo pleasently surprised with this!!
It is so chocolaty and dense and…… I’m speechless!!
I wish I could eat this everyday for breakfast AND lunch AND dinner!! 😀


Next a LUNA White Chocolate Macadamia

I did not expect lots of it since I don’t really like White Chocolate BUT I liked it!!!
Definitely not my favorite but I love Macadamias and it totally had lots of Macadamias in it!!

My FIRST LARABAR Pistachio

Another WOW!!! I didn’t recall liking pistachios THAT MUCH!!!
I was mmhh-ing the whole time eating this!!
(I even saved half of the bar for a little later, to savour every bit!)
I WILL DEFINITELY TRY AND MAKE THEM MYSELF!!
I even bought unsalted peanuts right the next day!! 😀


CLIF nectar cacao dark chocolate walnut

Do I really need to say that I love chocolate?! And walnuts!?
So…. Needless to tell you that I enjoyed this one too!!
Every bite…
(I really tend to take very itty little bites when I like something really much!)
…wish it would not have ended…!


Last (until now) but most definitely NOT least
CLIF Spiced Pumpkin Pie

This one was another one I did not know what to expect.
After trying Pumpkin-Oats and not really liking it too much I hesitated a little.
With NO REASON at all!!
It was a little too big for me to eat in one sitting (befor a workout) so I split it!
And I’m glad I did… Because even though I TRULY like it! The flavours were a little much for me!
So I think by splitting it I had the chance to really enjoy it without getting sick of it!!

Once again THANK YOU TWO SO MUCH for all the bars!!
I have plenty Bars left to try (and can’t wait!)
but I try to only have one a day and only as a pre-workout!
This way they may last a little longer…! ;D

I hope you all had a great week (already read all about it on your incredible blogs)
and a wonderful weekend (will read about this in a bit)
and wish you a fabulous new week!!

Make every day a good one
and
do everything the best you can!!


EDIT:
Go over to Iowa Girl Eats and take a look at THIS awesome Giveaway!!

Much LOVE