MIA

hey you all….
sorry for being MIA right know but
as all of you that are on facebook already know

my mom had a car accident on wednesday! 😦
she’s okay so far, she broke a vertebra (L2)
but thank got it’s nothing too serious!
no surgery needed… just a corsage to keep her spine stable!

that was quite a scare!!
and i actually just don’t know how to deal with this!

she is really hurt, hasn’t had more than an hour of sleep since the accident
and is troubled with bad nausea, thus can’t eat sleep or do anything!!

and i can’t help!!
i want to do something so ease her pain so bad!
i’m just so lost…! i’m anxious and just feared for her well being!!

she’s all i have! she’s not only my mom but my best friend!
and i can’t stand seeing her this hurt!!

i know we have to look at the ‘bright side’!
it could have been so much worse but…
it is so difficult to be positive
when everything around me is kind of falling apart…
i’m struggling so much…
can’t help but either eat crap or not eat at all…

and to tip that all off
i’m badly in love with a 20year older family-man!
we had our office christmas dinner last night and
i just can’t deny it anymore!
we are so in love… and just can’t help ourselves!!
we know it has no future so we contain ourselves the best we can!
but… it’s just so pathetic…
he can make me feel so good and forgett about all my troubles
but of course at the same time there is this voice that tells me
‘this is so wrong and you know it!’
because IT IS!!! i’m pathetic, i’m a such a fool!!

sorry for bothering you all with this….
i’ll just go know…. but to be honest, i don’t know when i’ll be back blogging!
i read your blogs regularly but just can’t come up with thigs to comment!
so please bear with me!

i love you (and of course your blogs!!) all so much
but i just need to figure this all out!

thank you for all the support, the positive comments and nice words!
i am so thankfull for you all being in my life!
i truly wouldn’t be where i am withouth you and
who knows how i’d cope with this situation if i hadn’t been
at a good place for quite some time.

so bye for know….