Kind of happy…. Again!! :)

Hey you all!!
THANK YOU so much for all the comments!!! You have no idea how much better I felt after reading them!!! Thank you!!!
As you see from the title, after the bad low I’m better! YAY!!
Had a good-ish weekend. Had fun and felt good about my decisions I made (food, exercise and every thing).
On sunday I finally got back into the saddle! 😉 I had a horseback-riding “date” with my two nieces and a good friend! And it felt soooo good!!!
Since I selled my horse (1.5 years ago) I only went riding once and now twice!! I just never felt the urge to do it. But now I think it’s coming back! And I’m really happy about it!!
Here a crappy pic from my cell:

Sorry for the bad quality and the not so enjoyable angle!!
Yesterday started my new ballet class with my favorite teacher!!
It was soooooo great!! Did I ever tell you that I could dance all day long?! Every day of the week? If I could take a class with Heidi every day, I totally would!!
And when I finally lost my gained weight I will be able to enjoy the classes soooo much more!!
But I’m on the right way… I’m loosing slowly but surely!! And that’s so much better than last time!
Oh and today I’m taking a new Yoga class! I’m very excited and looking forward to it!
Will post about it next time!!
Again… No more pix, sorry!! I totally have to start taking my camera with me!! I usually have pretty eats, so taking pictures will have to start again!!
Have a nice day/evening/night everyone!!! And again!! Thanks for taking up with me!! And reading all my nonsence 😉 (I know it’s not… But…)
Bye… ❤
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Blah ****

I don’t understand, how I can land so deep in this hole after such amazing weeks!!?!

It’s just annoying!! I don’t know what so think let alone write!!
I know you all are probably sick of reading how everyone struggles, especially me… As I’m not even sick or have anything to complain!
I’m at a healthy weight (more in the upper range than I’d like!) and have so much good things around me! And nonetheless I’m beating myself up about this damn disorder!!!
The more I’d like to finally loose those pounds, the more I crave!! The more I give in! And the more miserable I become!!! It is sooooo depressing!!
I really hope that once my normal dance schedule started again, it will be easier… Not sitting around on my to big butt and thinking about food!!
Acutally I know that I should stop reading all your awesome bloggs, because I think enough about food without reading about it, but I just can’t stop, I don’t want to stop!
Damn…. Why oh why did I let it come so fare!! I’m disgusted about my stomage flab more than anything!! It’s not too much but just enough to keep me on the edge of my seat about it, I always “see” it… On one side I think I just see what’s not here but I know I’ve gotten a little “round” so to speak!! And it bothers me more than I’d like or than I’d ever would admit!!
I have noone to talk about this, noone knows how much I really struggle whit this sh*t! And I’m not sure if even I get how deep I’m in this!!
Here I go again… A pitty post… Great! But I really don’t know where to turn. I know you all are annoyed by everyone writing about all that negativity and…. As much as I appear to be positive all the time… It’s just a facade, so I don’t have to explain, as I know noone would understand!!
I have an obese co-worker and this does not make it easyer… Damn… I’m sorry, I don’t know what I’m ‘talking’ about, my thoughts are so all over the place I just need to get some out!!
Whatever… Sorry for bothering you with all this. I might update later on a lighter note. But can’t promise anything!!
If you read through all this, you really deserve some gold medal or something! Thank you and again… Sorry for this rant!!
Hugs

(Power) Yoga Week

Well hello to all the fellow blogettes 🙂

Time to update (once more without pics, because they are all at home still hiding inside my cam)!
Hadn’t had such an awesome week… Just a lot of snacking and mindless eating that leaded to not feeling so good about myself… But whatever!! New week, got to leave that behind me!!
News include:
  • Finally found OKRA!!!! My local Asia Store sells okra!!! (Shout out to Gliding Calm!!) And I’m sooo in love with it!! Top 5 fav vegetables for sure!!
  • And last week I made (more than) one of Gliding Calm’s snack plates!! (pics are coming!)
  • Did not do ONE thing last week on the workout-side!! Just enjoyed the week off (between the Jazz- and Power Yoga-Workshop weeks) and before my normal dance/fitness schedule starts again next week!! But I’m soooo looking forward to Ballet and Jazz and Yoga each week (some multiple times YAY!!
  • Aside from eating pretty much too much each day, I had some yummie eats!!
  • Yesterday I had my first ‘Oats in the Jar’ and WOW!! How awesome!! (Damn me for not taking a pic!)
I hope that I will return to taking more pictures from my food!! I know I’m totally lacking in that area!! But I can’t promise anything since I really don’t want the ppl at work (though they are awesome but probably would not understand it!) knowing that I have a blog and since I’m eating two of my meals at work it’s a little dificult to photograph them! But I’ll try to take pics from my breakfast and lunch once and therefore can use those pics multiple times because I have (almost) the same breakfast/lunch everyday!! 😉
Alright… I will stop here. But not before I tell you how weird my first PowerYoga lesson yesterday was! Not bad weird, just out-of-the-ordinary weird!
First of all the teacher always talked to us (7 students) as if there were just one person. Kind of unusual for me but cute! And of course the positions!! Courtney came to my mind more than once! 😉 I like it but I think I will like the “normal” Yoga more… Because this is a little hurried, or at least that’s what it felt like. More strength than meditation but it’s alright for this week when I don’t have anything else. But I’m really looking forward to my soon-to-be weekly Yoga.
Oh and to leave this once more with a positive note! As I already wrote in a comment on Tori’s awesome blog I encountered kind of a little breakthrough this morning! When I saw myself semi-naked on the bathroom mirror I though “Wow, look how far you’ve come! This is what you can accomplish with NOT starving yourself and not hurrying to loose the pounds!! You look toned and healthy!! And the last few pounds will drop slowly but surely too!!”
I’m really proud of myself… Even though I had a sh*tty last week and did definitely eat too much more than once, I still think my body looks good and I’m content with what I accomplished and I’m not beating myself up for not doing so great a few days!!
Hopefully this positive stride will continue!! I work hard on it!!
Alright!! Have a great day/afternoon/evening/night whatever!! Just enjoy yourself and keep in mind (to include some Operation Beautiful in here) You All Are Awesome!! Just The Way You Are!!
Plenty of hugs for you all!!
Oh and THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH for the nice and kind comments!! You really made my day!! I hope to get a few more readers slowly but steady! Or am I so lame?! 😉
— pics will be up in a few hours!
update:
look at those two beautiful plates!! colorful and flavorful! just awesome!
close-up of the raw plate
and not to forget the delicious sweet potatoe fries mmmh!
a few weeks ago i did a curry dish and topped it with some tuna! yummie!
and last but not least here is the almond butter a talked a few posts ago!
close-up of the yummieness! 🙂